Do your homework before putting your faith in someone, yep, you read that correctly!!

Over the last several months, I’ve heard from a number of women and men who have faced serious difficulties and even trauma as a result of trusting the wrong people.

They’ve made major life and professional blunders by pursuing the wrong occupations, partnerships, relationships, transactions, and more because they put their trust in these fakers, cheaters, or emotionally unstable persons.

I personally know a close buddy who entrusted his car to a friend who then used it to conduct a crime, and he was sentenced to 25 days in prison just because he trusted him without knowing him.

We all have a strong sense of smell that alerts us to the presence of the incorrect person or lady. We avoid it because we are either greedy or concerned for the other person. I’ve spent years attempting to understand why people behave the way they do. We looked at why my clients, friends, and family believed individuals who led them astray in these situations.

We investigated whether they realised it was a bad decision before they made it, and why they trusted people who lied, cheated, injured them, or purposefully misrepresented their alternatives. Believe me when I tell that 90% of them were aware of it before initiating a business or personal relationship.

The following are the top reasons why we trust the wrong people:

• Even though we know what they’re providing is too good to be true, we badly want to trust them.

When we’re in a position where we really need or want to alter something, we often overlook all of the external and internal indications that suggest whether or not someone can be trusted. Instead, we choose what sounds great and impressive, as well as what we believe will help us get out of our current pain and struggle as fast as possible. Even though we realise what this individual is providing is too good to be true, we take it because we want to think there is a simple, quick route out of our current situation.

• They reaffirm our preconceptions about ourselves.

People with an agenda who are untrustworthy frequently know just what to say to us to get us hooked. They can detect our “power gaps” — regions of low self-esteem and confidence, as well as what we want to think about ourselves and our circumstances — and tell us what we want to hear. We are attracted to them because they make us happy.

They give the impression of being “winners” because they are charming, persuasive, and impressive.

We often trust self-obsessed and other emotional manipulators when we shouldn’t. Why? Because they look to be powerful, confident, in command, and extremely successful.

We want part of their success to rub off on us since they appear to be “winners” in their own lives and jobs. And we’re honoured that these “winners” have chosen us to be a part of their squad. When we get to know them, or if we ever have to question what they say, think, or believe, we’ll quickly realise they’re not safe or trustworthy, and they’re not who they seem to be.

They make us feel as if someone has finally noticed our abilities.

Looking back on my life so far, I must acknowledge that I have placed my faith in the wrong people when they made me feel like I was finally being seen and appreciated. They complimented me on my skills and abilities, saying how I stood out from the crowd for being able to grasp what I was all about and who I was at my core. And it made me feel understood, respected, and safe in this person’s hands.Untrustworthy people, on the other hand, will commonly target your Achilles heel by praising and puffing you up so that you feel fantastic in their company. But flattery and praise are transient, and while it may feel nice in the moment, it’s only a trick to get us to like and follow them. It’s not genuine, and they may turn on you at any time. It’s a deception game.

We relinquish control and forego the necessary due diligence to guarantee that this is a smart decision.

Many individuals do not perform the essential examination of a person before placing their faith in them, even when they are going to participate in something really significant with them.

How can you figure out whether or not someone is trustworthy?

There are a few telltale indications of trustworthiness in terms of attitude, values, and integrity that suggest whether or not this person can be trusted. Don’t just believe what they say; look into it further. Words are inexpensive.

If you have a habit of putting your faith in the incorrect individuals, you can change that. The first stage is to come to a complete halt before saying “YES” to anything or anybody that requires a commitment from you. Take some time alone to jot down all of the reasons you feel compelled to trust and follow this individual.

Consider the following questions:

• Is he or she a resemblance to someone from my past?
• Is it my aim to believe and follow this person in order to “fix” or “heal” a big problem in my life as fast as possible?
• Does this circumstance remind me of previous time in my life when something went wrong?
• Is there anything that tells me I shouldn’t trust this person?
• Is there anything about this person’s previous or current behaviour that raises a red flag?

If you repeatedly trust the wrong people, slow down, do a complete, balanced, and unemotional evaluation of this individual and this opportunity, and seek for trustworthy outside opinion to properly examine the best next move in your life.

In a perfect world, our internal guidance would be powerful and reliable enough to guide us to the best people to work with.

Many others, on the other hand, have been indoctrinated since childhood not to listen to or heed the voice inside them screaming “STOP!”

If you evaluate a book by its cover, you will continue to be wounded. You will encounter selfish people, scammers, and cheats who will take advantage of your confidence.

I’m the CEO of Serverlt.com, and my name is Saurabh Mani.

(At Serverlt.com, we help entrepreneurs bring their ideas to life through mobile, web apps, DevOps, Cloud, and Cyber Security.)